Self Respect

I’m all in favour of a joyful life. In my view, it will not come about by working on self-esteem directly. Call me old-fashioned, but I can’t shake thousands of years’ advice about the spiritual dangers inherent in esteeming ourselves. Even the phrase “working on self-esteem” is suspicious: Why does it take work at all to feel good about ourselves if we’re living right? .... Nat Branden, the father of our modern self-esteem movement, never intended for self-esteem to become so isolated and individualistic. To him, self-esteem had everything to do with how we live in community with others. In other words, true self-esteem is like a smile: it arises naturally in a life lived well.... Self-esteem (actually, I greatly prefer “self-respect,” but I will use the popular term for the sake of discussion) and simple joy function in the same way. The more we chase them, the further they recede; yet they are gifts that come to us when we give up our self-absorption.

Excerpt from It’s a Meaningful Life: It Just Takes Practice by Bo Lozoff (2000)