Stepping away from fear
I'm not sure for whom this message will reach, however I suppose I hope the real message will find its destination smack dab in the middle of my soul. I'm not quite sure when fear began leading my life, but I find myself fighting it off like a hundgry mesquito on a hot summer night. A plethra of question crash into my mind the moment, the very moment, I awake from my sleep. These questions aren't the kind you tend to want to think about and the anxiety that comes so delicately intertwined within each one makes me want to run faster than I have ever wanted to run. What I truly don't understand is why I can't seem to straighten any of them out. I have never been this way (at least not to my conscious knowledge). I have always been able to see the bigger and brighter picture. The things that hurt me made me smile, the things that challenged me thrilled me, and the things that I knew were only temperary now seem that they may forever be tapping me upon my back. I know better than these feelings. I know logically and spiritually the answer is as simple as: What is happening now is simply what is happening now. I know the uncertainty I am feeling is laced with the lessons I brought myself here to learn. I know this is higher work happening, nevertheless, I'm stuck. How can this be? How is it to know something and yet feel as if you don't. Aren't we full circle? If we know something logically and rationally won't that trump these mediocre feelings? I guess the truth is maybe I know these things in my mind but lost my faith in my heart and soul? How do you begin to piece it back together? Fear is, I know for certain, the root of this conflict. But I have never been scared like this before (or better yet, maybe I just have never had to actually face fear like this). So.. how do you truly begin to change that fear to love? Do you start with just trying to create a new day, a new life and if so what to you do to maintain your endurance to continue creating a new today, a new tomorrow, a new forever?
Posted mai 25th, 2008 by E.amerissa